Today is the day this blog has its first birthday.
I wonder what the average blog’s true lifespan is?
I won’t say too much in terms of purpose, as I’ve had two other “landmark” posts fairly recently (Age 20, and Post #200). Reviewing is good though, and a little history and perspective always reminds us of new things. Suffice to say: writing this blog has changed me.
It began as a product of the goal to be cleaner on Facebook, to learn to simply not mentally masturbate everywhere because it could be done. For a long time, this blog was simply where I put my Facebook reposts instead, scattered amongst them longer entries more focused on some larger idea because it felt more important. I would always start writing them, and then remember that I wasn’t just trying to be some kind of hipster on the internet anymore. I went the dry and logical approach, trying to keep the emotions to a minimum. This was the tone of my first “Seminal Post”, Fundamentals (Mean) – I would state something that would be true in the vast majority of belief systems, and then combine them towards the creation of some point.
At the start, I had no “real” belief system. Anarchocapitalism had just fallen out of true favor, as it was unable to tell me anything specific about the differences between culture (the argument that everything would be arranged through contracts sounded absolutely retarded), and the continual disagreement on the definition and significance of the concept of something being “voluntary”. There were certainly things I liked more and things I didn’t like as much, but as it was at the time that I was able to justify almost anything, I sought to find the system in which I could justify the most things – that is to say, the theory with the most explanatory power and the least amount of assumptions. This was written in The Purpose Of This Blog, and for a short while, the blog’s title reflected this goal: “Infinite Reality Theory“. I forget what subtitle was used.
In the course of writing the longer posts however, I kept coming back to this one idea. They were almost always because I was mad at something, but I had told myself I couldn’t just throw profanity all over the place call people stupid and be dumb with it. It was a goal and law I had set for myself. So I wrote… about how things were dishonorable. It was a fairly powerful word in the fluffy word box, and it seemed a fairly decent replacement for “dumb as fuck” at the time. But as it happened again, and again, and again, each time with its own iteration and word/thought structure…. I was creating words. I was giving the words “honor” and “discipline” meaning. Where once it was simply some thing a “person of authority” would say to shame me, it now meant something. I didn’t have that many readers at the time; there were no eyes really watching me. The eyes watching me were the incarnations of myself living in those words I had once written, were the eyes of me when I had set to craft myself out of being a teenager before it was too late.
In April, I had an accident in which both of my front two teeth were cleaved in half. To this day it has probably changed me more than I give it credit for. For the first hour or so it hurt a little bit and I was like yeah whatever I’m fine, but immediately after that, everything would hurt. Exposing nerves to air which would normally be inside several millimeters of bone prevented me from doing anything: sleeping, breathing, eating, thinking… I had to get them reconstructed, but it was 60 hours of open air exposure I had to endure. All the things I had said previously about error and fragility of success just haphazardly before now came into extreme focus. “All Else Is Halation” suddenly had much more meaning realized. It was exactly what I was experiencing in my teeth “pain” – way more [electrical/nervous] information than I could handle.
When I returned to the blog after school finished, this new perspective and all the better things I had written weighed down upon me. I felt this pressure to write well for a fairly significant period of time, and my first long posts after the long departure were fairly light and kind by comparison. I felt the need to justify myself to no end in this post. Nothing felt particularly right, and I was almost at a loss for what I would be able to talk about in such a restricted zone.
My offhand decision to obtain Jack Donovan‘s The Way of Men and a chance meeting with graaaaaagh completely broke that jail, and changed the course of this blog. While it is true that it probably would have gone this way eventually, the rapid acceleration of it and thus the prevention of wandering and errors made a piercing impression. In one reading/sit-down, I had learned and was convinced that Strength, Courage, Mastery, and Honor were the four virtues that defined men (as opposed to just whatever anyone says in the sentence format “Real Men X”). Two days later, a friend invited me to a Skype call with graaaaaagh – I had no interest too much at the time and thought he was a kook. I believe it was him who started the conversation between us, asking me who I was and what I thought about what he was saying. I said why I disagreed, and though I forget exactly what I said I disagreed on and why, he made a direct counter to my argument and it simply replaced that cog in my belief system machine. It was pretty interesting, so I asked him several other things. And it happened again, and again, and again. It was like realizing I was running a really old car, and suddenly parts were just getting replaced which fit and simply ran better. I told him it was very interesting, and I’d think about it for a week.
Twelve days later later, I justified Monarchism via Saint’s Row: The Third in The Machinery of Order. Today, I have a hard time believing how congruent we are.
The solidification of Discipline and Order set the tone in July and has not changed it since. They are stronger unifying ideas than anything else I have ever encountered, and unlike past belief systems which “explained” away previous beliefs by saying I was “stupid” and “not as enlightened”, this one resonates with the arguments and perspectives I’ve had all along. Reposts and shorter commentaries have gone away, funneled over to this blog’s Facebook page, itself now also a filter for masturbatory tendencies. The focus is now completely on the Seminal Posts as the name should imply, thus the structure of the blog a more accurate manifestation of its title.
I believe I have achieved my goal in more ways than I could have possibly imagined.
There are four additional things that have occurred which did not particularly fit into the above narrative:
1) I have gotten a couple of major changes in view count/rate, each which has changed my perspective slightly. Reviewing The Way of Men gave me a singular spike of views after he relinked it, and gave me the idea that this blog could be much more popular. The purpose of the Reposts and links inside entries was just that – to get more views and get on blogrolls. This succeeded with Rational Male, and raised average views from perhaps 15 a week to 50 a day (having a blog which starts with A on a blogroll listed alphabetically helps), with the first day significantly higher. I suspect most readers here today are those who originated from Rational Male, I cannot say – but it certainly had some effect, because now that I’m not on his blogroll anymore I still get 30-40 a day when I post regularly (back then 30-40 was when I didn’t post, but I don’t run ads so random viewers doesn’t really mean much). I felt bad when I got removed, but accepted it fairly quickly. My topics are indeed not very Manosphere related, and I pay no particular tribute to either the ideas or the people in that community. It is one I was interested in because I was extracting interesting ideas from it, but “Men Going Their Own Way” isn’t exactly my bowl of ramen. So that was fine.
One last spike was when I posted Masculinity’s Misdirection (True Sight). It was a clarification as to why I was no longer interested in the manosphere, that I disagreed with the larger picture. Their way of painting was nice and I had learned from it for over three years, but the more I dug into Discipline and Order it was clear their goal was not mine. This rustled some jimmies. I don’t know whose since I only got one comment (which I didn’t publish; “what the fuck is wrong with you” with no other words is not something I’m about to pass), but it gave me a new look on pageviews. It’s not that I don’t care about them… it’s more that I realize can’t really do too much about them.
That entry was supposed to be just an external memory device, like doing stuff out on scratchpaper for a math problem.
But clearly a lot of people were mad about it. For whatever reason. I don’t even know who linked it everywhere; *I* didn’t put it on the Facebook page because it was inconsequential to me.
2) I will start commenting on other blogs… somehow. Probably by using this Reader function. Some of you put “Likes” on my posts; there are three reasons I don’t like or respond back. a) I’m bad and don’t have a feel for what’s worthy of a “like” (mostly this), b) I’m actually just not interested (probably not it), or c) You’re a blog which seems to say nothing interesting yet gets 249 likes on every one of your posts. I can fix (a). I can’t fix (b). For (c), I will treat you as one of those Facebook [celebrity] pages with 1.4million likes until you give me a comment I can respond to. Something with a substantial amount of substance or relation to the content on my posts, not just “Yeah I was thinking about that too :)”. I apologize if you cannot do this. This is my current understanding of the blogosphere, and I don’t have a very high view of those who are able to be friends with everyone.
3) This blog is tending towards more flowery, illustrative, and poetic language. It was there in the beginning, but as I’ve started taking “Honor” and “Discipline” more seriously, aesthetics will be practiced more.
4) Muv-Luv Alternative was what I read immediately prior the creation of this blog, and though I have called it the best story ever told, I have never truly given it direct tribute. It is what planted the seeds nice and tidy to allow for my beliefs in Discipline and Order to grow. I spent all day and all night reading it, more intensively than any game, for four weeks straight. From Muv-Luv’s romantic comedy to Muv-Luv Alternative’s life and death drama, it was the first true and complete exposition I had to the mindset of The Right, or in other words, the Master Morality. It is why for the nine months on this blog before my first Monarchism post, I was already saying things that a leftist would say with a consistency no leftist has. I continually refer to graaaaaagh because he is a person and makes new content, but I only have static quotes I can extract from Muv-Luv. There are a limited few which are piercing enough to be used out of context; most of them are powerful not because of the individual words themselves, but of how they are said by certain characters in certain contexts. It is the most well-woven tale I have ever seen. The whole is far greater than the sum of its parts.
If there is any “Required Reading” for this blog, it is the Muv-Luv trilogy. Whoever you are, wherever you come from, and whatever you believe – it is a story which explains why the Right is what it is.
There is now a new page on the top tabs; “Introduction” has been added to the old trio “Home”, “About”, and “Quotes”.
The below is a list of the new list of Seminal Posts, a list reviewed and cleaned. They are in chronological order. A few have been removed, but many have been added. A few of the new ones are one of the longer ones that weren’t Seminal, but many of them are from the Concise category. As some of them truly represent this blog’s tone and approach, they too should be in Seminal. I won’t make a habit out of this though; I’ll probably review every 50 posts or so to re-evaluate the shorter posts.
Again, thank you for your continued audience. Everything has a lifespan, and I can’t guarantee for how long this blog will be effective and productive.
So let’s make the best while it still lives.
There are no saviors in this world, only the saved and the damned.
There are no men in this world, only gods and crawlers.
There are no heroes in this world, only the immortal and the forgotten.
Thus, the creation of beauty.
Thus, the genesis of meaning.
Views All-Time (as of this post): 4,788
Busiest Day: September 18. 2012 – 247 views
- The Purpose of This Blog
- Fundamentals (Mean)
- What Do You Wish For?
- Respectful (Opportunity Cost)
- No Entry
- Ghost in the Shell
- Standard Basis Vector
- Ergo (Coordinate System)
- A Clearer Premise
- A Mystic Premise
- Story: Breaking Teeth, Getting Saved, Respecting The Giants
- The Unifier: Jack Donovan’s “The Way of Men”
- A Tale of Two Girlfriends (Positive vs Anti-Negative)
- The Machinery of Order
- Dynamics: Scrubs Finale (Standard Deviation)
- Infinite Reality Theory (Fact vs Fiction)
- My Kind of Woman (Ideals)
- The Golden Glow (Existence)
- Anger (Default Orientation)
- No Misstep: One Word’s Power
- Equality Not Uniqueness
- Slave vs Master
- Ultimatums and Decrees (Sorcerer of Certainty)
- Fundamental Solution (Benevolence vs Kindness)
- To The Beginning
- A Late Introduction: Year One