I’ve read it multiple times in differing iterations throughout the manosphere, and I thought I should add my own: The description of my ideal woman.
Though, to be honest, it kind of confuses me why such a thing needs to be said. Having essentially raised myself purely on anime, there’s always seemed to be a definition for what the ideal woman is. Sure, there are minor variations for each person – but you know what you’re “supposed” to like. I don’t really care what your favorite food is, I’ll guarantee you it’s made with precision and has no stray flies or bloody thumbs in it. If you have a favorite car, it’s going to have four wheels and a frame and no structural parts made out of plastic. There are certain standards that “simply exist”.
Lost is really the first time I’ve seen American culture. You may say what you like, but as a semi-outsider, I find it very clear that “Kate” takes the position of the ideal American woman – she is given plenty of screentime, the main man doesn’t have any real relationship with any other female, and there is no competition.
And she’s a bitch. No other word. Just, “Bitch”.
To be sure, none of the women in Lost are attractive in their personalities, but they’re all about the same anyways.
The big one is Kate, and Kate is a bitch. She has no principles at all, except perhaps “Aha, I’m not what you think I am!”, which is the definition of not a principle. So full of shit. She doesn’t trade a kiss to save a life. Her best guess at someone’s motives is that they want to be hated. When she wants something she opens up with the demand, rather than offering something or even giving the general politeness remarks first. When someone is taking things dead seriously she laughs and jokes around. When she is not needed and cannot do anything, she butts in. When she is needed and must be doing something, she is paralyzed by… what?
I’ve been constantly asking my friends who like Lost to give me a good reason to continue, and they just say ignore Kate. Ignore Kate? She’s the fucking love interest. Am I supposed to fall in love with this excuse for a woman? All she’s ever good for is legs. Every other time she’s standing there being useless and having emotions, or being counterproductive in one or another manner. Oh, I’ll learn about her backstory and then empathize with her, they say. Backstory doesn’t change anything. I don’t know what Americans pass for character development, but flashing between real time and backstory is not “development”, it is “contrast”. And when all you have for an explanation on why this character is doing really shitty and really stupid things is that “it will be explained” even though I’m over halfway through the first season, it is called
Everything in a story happens for a reason, it’s not like reality where things can actually happen by accident. There’s always the possibility of a writer writing in accidents fairly regularly, but that doesn’t negate the principle. Kate is a bitch, and the writers continue writing her in such a way. It is not “going to be explained”, it is as it is. I am too dumb to fool, I don’t care why it happens if it happens. It is not a mistake, it is intentional. And the intention is to deliver the message,
“The Ideal American Woman Does Not Exist, Because Ideals Do Not Exist”.
(For women. They clearly have an ideal for men, but I’ll talk about that another time. Or maybe I won’t. I already have a good idea on what I’m working towards.)
And it explains a lot. It explains why, whenever I ask anyone what the ideal American woman is, they give me sexual descriptions. Ass, tits, and legs they say. Maybe tanned skin. Maybe hourglass shape. But inevitably they end up by saying that the face and personality are up to the individuals. As if suddenly, there are actually no patterns and no trends. There are people who like cottage cheese but we can say hourglass is ideal, yet when some people like horse and potato faces, slutty and infantile personalities, we can’t say anything? Fingers and flies or dented bumpers instantly disqualify any food or any car from being ideal in their respective category.
Am I to believe that there are no such disqualifiers for a woman?
Am I to describe absolutely every detail from blank canvas up… only to meet the criticism that I “expect too much”?
I don’t think so. My description of an ideal woman will not be a description of traits, but rather, a story. It is an excerpt, a scene from the most beautiful story I have ever read, and it is the world of the most ideal woman I could ever imagine. I choose a story not because it’s “easy” and I don’t have to do “work”, but because it is a complete picture. What a description gives you is a set of pieces – but no glue to hold it together, and if you wrote it a certain way, no discernible way to put it together correctly either. It can be glued together in ridiculous ways and thrown back at you for not giving a blueprint or for having bad pieces. Some will argue semantics and people did it just to spite you. My question would be one word: “And?” And so what if they did it to spite you? It was your fault for not building it for them, and while it is not ever possible to make everyone agree, you made the decision to give them the pieces rather than the completed picture.
My ideal woman is not just a set of pieces. There is an order to it.
I do not simply think it is my taste, I believe it should be the taste.
It would not be an understatement that this one fictional girl single-handedly gave me the first tangible focus in my life. Honor – or as I usually call it, Discipline.
Here‘s something to look at if you need a visual. Standard ideal physical looks, again with some tweaks and flairs here and there. Obvious stuff. If it’s not, I really can’t help you.
The following contains major spoilers for the visual novel Muv-Luv Alternative.
The setting: An alternate history, an alternate world.
1944 ends World War 2. Nukes were dropped not on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but on Berlin. Japan does not become a republic or a democracy; it retains its emperor and shogunate. The 1950s see join space exploration between US and Europe. The mars exploration craft “Viking 1” in 1958 is lost on encountering life. Technology takes a different path. With the focus on space construction and exploration, powered exoskeleton techology is a main focus.
The plan called “Alternative” begins as an attempt to communicate with the alien life forms. It fails.
1967, aliens first arrive on the moon. The geological exploration which engages first encounter is never heard of again. “Alternative II”, a plan to capture the aliens for study, results in the death of many and failed to reveal anything except that the life forms are also based on carbon, and that there are very few similarities between the different kinds of aliens. Russia begins the planning phase of Alternative III. 1970, the first mechanized infantry is deployed on Luna to fight the aliens, now dubbed BETA, for Beings of Extra Terrestrial origin and Adversary of the human race. 1972, NATO reorganizes under the realization that war with the BETA was becoming a reality.
April 19th, 1973, the BETA launch a massive projectile from the moon. The trajectory of it being well into Chinese and Russian territory, NATO has no say in the matter.
The “Kashgar Hive” lands on Earth. All forces start retreating from Luna.
Initial fighting against the BETA is approximately even. The BETA do not appear to be very bright, but make up for it in sheer numbers. However, when the first “Laser-class” appear and deny humans of airborne weaponry and units, battles turn into slaughter. The BETA advance across Asia and toward Europe, establishing new hives at seemingly random intervals.
July 6th, 1974, a second Hive lands in Canada. America times the landing of multiple nukes with it. The hive is destroyed, and Canada becomes largely irradiated. In the same year, America releases the first “Tactical Surface Fighter” based on existing powered exoskeleton technology. The piloted bipedal robot is named the F-4 Phantom. While initially disastrous, these TSFs begin to take their place as the mainstay of mankind’s forces against the BETA. This allows the Russians to execute Alternative III – the use of psychics in an attempt to understand the BETA. However, the psychics themselves could only read at close range, and entering hives was necessary to use their powers. The survival rate was 6%. All attempts at communication failed. The one reading that did get through, whenever it was read, was that the BETA did not see mankind as a form of life. Alternative III is discontinued.
In 1995, Alternative IV begins. In 1996, Alternative V begins as a backup. In 2001, the world population is 1 billion; afterwards the number is kept as a secret known only to the top levels.
Even by lowering the military age to 12 and the drafting of women, there are more TSFs than available pilots. Most military members are now female.
Despite the massive improvements to TSF technology, making them more akin to fighter planes than tanks, the average survival time of a pilot in their first battle is 8 minutes.
All major engagements are won by the BETA. Russia occupies Alaska. The French reside in Canada. Mainland Europe is gone, only Britain remains.
Our main character, Takeru, is from our world. Through some mysterious cause he woke up in this world. His school is a military base, and many of his classmates are cadets. Or were – they are now top level pilots. Many things are different. There are no videogames; the vast majority of the time is spent in the simulator or doing physical training. The games they have are simple and rudimentary, including only traditional board games, marbles, and cat’s cradle. Their families are far away, and it is a wasteland outside of the base. One day, he wakes up, and has gone back to the beginning. He spent three years in this world, and found himself where he was, Day 1 – except now, he has the body of the soldier he had trained out of his formerly sedentary high school student self… only he can’t exactly remember everything. He knows something needs to be done because something failed last time, and he’s determined to do what needs to be done, this time.
Only one person knows, and that person is the head of the base and of Alternative IV.
This scene occurs some time after a training scenario abort, where BETA show up seemingly out of nowhere and kill many who were armed only with nonlethal weaponry.
Takeru has just returned from the med bay, being treated for PTSD.
This is a visual novel, which is a common game genre in Japan. The top part of the screen is a static background and sprites, usually only torso and up. The sprites change for different facial emotions, but in general do not move. The bottom half is text, which you read. Each scene has background music which loops. There are few choices. Sometimes, there are special scenes where it is not sprite and background, but a complete static image. There are some changes I have made to the translation; some things don’t make sense to the average english reader as they stood.
I won’t list all the changes in facial expressions, but there is one important scene change, and that is the one I will note.
【Voice】「Takeru… have you returned?」
<Meiya enters Takeru’s room>
【Meiya】「…I apologize for coming at such an hour.」
【Takeru】「…no…it’s fine…what is it?」
【Meiya】「Yes…I went to check on you a number of times…but I felt you would be back by now…」
…you came to see me while I was being questioned, and while I was out…?
…that just hurts.
…I’m not worth…having you do something like that.
I’m not worth your concern…not after letting the resolve you and Her Highness gave me wither…
【Meiya】「Your questioning seems to have taken some time…is your body all right?」
【Takeru】「Yeah, I’m fine…」
【Meiya】「I see… that is good to hear.」
That huge difference…it’s painful.
Even during the trial…you came to your senses right away after the BETA appeared…analyzed the situation…made a rational decision…
And…entrusted everyone else with the mission…in order to go back and save me…
Meiya did…what I couldn’t do…Something I couldn’t do despite years of being a real soldier in the previous world…
【Meiya】「…I am quite relieved.」
【Meiya】「I worried you might not be in command of your senses… forgive me.」
【Takeru】「…that’s because…they gave me hypnotic therapy and anti-depressants.」
【Meiya】「That is enough for now…as long as it keeps you calm.」
【Meiya】「You were quite awful earlier…」
【Takeru】「What? …you came here to lecture me…?」
【Meiya】「No…that is not my intent.」
【Meiya】「I need not say anything…for you must feel the guilt stronger than any of us…」
【Meiya】「And by now, you are likely weary of having all of the others tell you much the same thing.」
【Takeru】「…yeah, that’s true.」
…you really are amazing. Even in this situation, you can still think that much about someone else…
But you’re being too optimistic about how I feel…You’re completely overestimating me…
【Meiya】「Would you mind talking a little?」
【Meiya】「Far too much has happened today…and I cannot sleep…」
…that’s also like you…to be indirectly considerate like that…helping me when I should be helping you.
【Takeru】「Yeah…go for it…」
【Takeru】「I can’t sleep either…and I wanted someone to talk to.」
I could sleep if I took the medicine…But…I don’t…want that…3 pills I think it was.
I don’t like the feeling…of knowing I’m sad, but just watching it calmly from far away…
【Meiya】「Still, I am truly relieved…whatever the reason, it is good for you to be calm now…」
【Takeru】「I’m not…that important…」
【Meiya】「What are you saying?…you are the center of our group…」
【Meiya】「If you waver, we all become more uneasy. You are very important at times like these…」
What the hell…are you saying I can’t act unsure about anything…?
【Takeru】「I’m really glad you value me so highly…but I’m…not like that. …The others…don’t think like that.」
【Meiya】「…that is not true. You are misjudging your worth.」
【Takeru】「…no I’m not. …it’s true.」
I’ve been doing everything for my own reasons…if you think about my motives, I have no right to be respected so much…
I made someone else remove that old lady from her home at Mt. Tengen, and I couldn’t give Her Highness that medicine…that’s who I am…
【Meiya】「I do not care how you choose to value yourself, but the fact remains that everything you have accomplished thus far has made everyone see you that way.」
【Meiya】「You have gained that position as a direct result. You have a duty and responsibility to fulfill that trust.」
I know that…of course I know that…Even I…wanted to do that.
Seeing how you and your sister thought and felt during the coup d’etat impacted me…made me want to do the same.
But…I can’t do…what you and Her Highness can…I’m nowhere near as noble as you two…
【Takeru】「I didn’t do it…in order to make them have faith in me…」
【Meiya】「But the result is the same. They all expect great things of you.」
【Takeru】「Then…does that mean…I don’t have any personal freedom to feel what I want?」
【Meiya】「Yes. In the extreme case, that is exactly right.」
【Meiya】「I believe you should be free to feel what you want… …however, you should always consider the effect your statements and demeanor will have on those around you.」
Then, because you’re so noble…you’re hiding your pain and talking to me this way out of consideration for me…?
Is that what you’re saying…?
【Meiya】「That is…the duty of those with unparalleled natural talent like yours.」
I’m…not like that. You guys only think that…because I’ve done all this before.
Even the ideas for that OS…all came from a video game someone in my world made…all I did was bring them into this world.
I have no…natural talent…you only think that…because I’m pretending I do!!
【Meiya】「But…even ones in such a position may fail. And such failures can be forgiven.」
【Meiya】「The value of successes and failures changes greatly depending on when they are judged. You need only connect your failures to greater successes later on.」
【Meiya】「If anything, the ability to turn failures into successes may be the most necessary trait for persons in such a position.」
【Takeru】「…turn failures into successes.」
【Meiya】「That is right…you simply need to perform better next time.」
【Takeru】「Do better next time…? That’s a lot less uplifting than your usual advice…」
【Meiya】「I see…forgive me.」
【Takeru】「Is there a next time…on the battlefield? If you die, that’s it…」
【Takeru】「You know that from what happened today…so what’s the difference between me and everyone who died?」
Whether I have a great duty, or know the future in advance, when I die, I die.
【Takeru】「Marimo-chan won’t have a next time! And that’s…my fault!」
【Takeru】「If I hadn’t stayed there feeling sad…if I hadn’t gone nuts…when the BETA appeared…Marimo-chan wouldn’t have died…」
【Meiya】「All that you were able to do at that time produced that result. Sgt. Jinguuji’s death is not for you to bear.」
【Takeru】「Then…why――WHY DID MARIMO-CHAN DIE!?」
【Takeru】「I was in the same place, sitting there being sad…so why am I alive, and Marimo-chan isn’t when she was working so hard for our next time?」
【Meiya】「…there is no reason. To be blunt…it was fate.」
Did you say…fate? It was Marimo-chan’s destiny to die like that…!?
This really is…wrong after all… This world is…screwed up…
I thought Meiya was okay, but now even she’s starting to say crazy things……
【Meiya】「But you survived. …thus, you have a next time.」
【Meiya】「Whether you lose an arm or a leg, if you still live, then you can fight. Those who still have breath in their lungs should do all they can for those without a second chance.」
【Meiya】「Everyone…can sacrifice their lives for their respective duties because they believe in humanity’s victory.」
【Meiya】「Achieving their wishes is the duty of those of us left alive. That is what I think.」
【Takeru】「You really are noble…」
【Takeru】「But your logic…used a different way…means we have to just put up with losing our very identities in order to fight.」
【Takeru】「Getting drugged, having your head played with through hypnosis…being unable to cry even though I should be sad…are you saying that’s all natural!?」
【Takeru】「Then why did you sympathize with those rebels!?」
【Takeru】「Shouldn’t the citizens have to put up with oppression if it means winning the war with the BETA!?」
【Takeru】「You’re contradicting yourself! Don’t force that kind of nonsense on me!!」
【Meiya】「――Cease your whining!」
【Meiya】「You freely chose to be here and do what it takes to fight. Do not confuse yourself with those civilians who never had a choice!」
【Meiya】「――Did you not make it quite clear to me that you want to protect the Earth and all of humanity!?」
【Meiya】「My reason is quite ordinary…I want to protect something.」
【Takeru】「…I see. Mind if I ask…what exactly?」
【Meiya】「…this planet…the people of this country…and Japan as a nation.」
…I learned what ‘country’ really means to her…during that incident at the volcano…
【Meiya】「Shirogane, do you have something you want to protect?」
【Meiya】「May I ask what?」
【Takeru】「Earth and humanity.」
【Meiya】「…after we started feeling inferior during basic training… …and during that meal in the PX…you said unequivocally that you would save humanity, in order to cheer us up.」
【Meiya】「Did you not throw away your draft exemption to come here of your own free will!?」
…you don’t know a damn thing about me! …that draft exemption shit was all something Yuuko-sensei made up!
【Takeru】「No!…I didn’t…I never wanted to come to this world!」
【Meiya】「Stop it! This is unbearable!」
【Takeru】「That’s enough! I’m sick of you and your noble logic! GET THE HELL OUT!!」
【Meiya】「…such an unfortunate……」
【Takeru】「――Don’t pity me!」
【Meiya】「Who would pity you…?」
【Takeru】「What did you say……?」
【Meiya】「Sgt. Jinguuji was the unfortunate one! …if you remain like this…then her death will be forever wasted…」
【Takeru】「――How dare youuu!!」
<Meiya is pinned to the bed. Over Takeru’s next several lines, her clothes get ripped off>
【Takeru】「――What the hell do you know!? You don’t know a damn thing about me!!」
【Takeru】「――You don’t know a damn thing about Marimo-chan!」
【Takeru】「――I’ve been torn away from Sumika――From everything I ever cared about!!」
【Takeru】「――Then I got forced into the military!!――Into a life with no freedom whatsoever!!」
【Takeru】「――Who the hell do you think would willingly come to a place like this!?」
【Takeru】「――I’m not like you! You’re here because you want to be, but I’m――!!」
…no…Meiya was…sent here…as a hostage…
She was torn away from her old life…and forced into the military…with no freedom of her own…
【Takeru】「…why…won’t you resist?」
【Takeru】「…why are you…letting me have my way with you!?」
【Takeru】「DON’T YOU CARE WHETHER I GO ALL THE WAY AND RAPE YOU!!?」
【Meiya】「…I care not.」
【Meiya】「If I could be of any consolation…if such a thing would satisfy you, then do as much as you like…」
……wh-…what the hell are you…?
Why can you say something like that…?
You don’t…you don’t really…wanna be here either, do you――!?
【Meiya】「If having your way with me…would ease your pain at all…」
【Meiya】「…then…I do not mind…」
――Don’t make me feel even more pathetic!!
【Meiya】「……if it would heal your wounds…even the slightest bit…then you may…as many times as you like――」
The rape didn’t happen. Takeru felt too pathetic and ran off. I can’t blame him.
I keep reading commentaries on how American media have lowered the image of men by showing them as subservient to women. Their daughters use them as ATMs and pout like children when they don’t get what they want (even if they’re 22), and daddy is expected or is forced one way or another by the writers to give up and make up to what the culture here holds up as the god of all gods: woman. Their girlfriends must be the sole object of their desire (Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey). Their mothers told them what to do and what not to do when they were kids. Their wives are their bosses, directing and controlling everything.
I don’t have too much problem with this depiction. Though a caricature, it is fairly accurate. Men today bow to women everywhere, and they might as well because most men today are disgusting. I do not particularly think this is the correct place of men; men are required to keep everything from falling apart and degenerating into worse than shit. But that is a direction and not a position. “Men have Divine Right” only describes only what needs to be done. It does not counter or conflict with what is, and what is is emasculated men grovelling to serve womens’ every ridiculous whim.
But what if they weren’t whims? What if she herself had principles? What if the signs she gave men were not simply to find out how much she could fuck with them, but for actual tangible ends? What if those ends directly build to becoming a Man, and she picked her actions for that exact purpose? What if she held her tongue, did what needed to be done (do NOT read: “did her best”), and acted with discipline and grace, everywhere? What if she were more woman than you man?What if you got told off by a woman like this?
What if every woman were like this? What if your actions could lead to such a world?