“Soccer is simple, but it is difficult to play simple”

As mentioned a few days ago, I suffered from a major migraine that lasted about two days earlier this week.

I asked someone from the cycling team later what might have caused it, and he said that it was probably dehydration. The recommended amount is 1000ml’s per ~40min. On Sunday night, I rode for an hour and only emptied around 200ml’s. The other explanation I found was riding for extended periods of time in aggressive positions. But that didn’t make too much sense considering I only assumed those positions for a couple of minutes at a time at 15 minute intervals. Anyways, I thought I’d be more or less back to normal afterwards, and I was for a short while, but it rapidly got back to migraine mode. My head wasn’t hurting anymore. I had gotten all my apetite back and was eating normally so there wasn’t anything on that end.

It was just that I still couldn’t think. Or rather, I could think quite clearly, just not about what I needed to think about – amounting to the same thing.

In the end I was able to scrounge up enough will to study the afternoon before a midterm so I didn’t need to stay up all night, but it’s not fast enough progress. Though the previous year I almost always pulled all-nighters before midterms, and the year before that I didn’t study at all, it isn’t good enough and it isn’t changing fast enough. I say “fast enough” because I know it’s possible – at times, I have managed to, without any imminent pressure, just sit down do homework and study. Imminent pressure used to be a few minutes before the test, then the night before, now it’s the day before. The whole concept of “imminent pressure” is flawed though, so I’ve been trying to figure out the function and triggering conditions to when I decide to ignore it.

The condition is: stop figuring it out.

I was talking with a friend one of these nights, on an issue I will not comment on. He was telling his own story of a hard time he went through in high school. At the end of his sophomore year, he was barely managing a 3.0, and when he began his junior year, he saw every day as his last chance to a better life. His parents had already given up on him and were planning on him working or going to community college after high school, but he didn’t want that. Every time he wanted to slack off or laze around, he simply stopped and imagined what he wanted – and reminded himself that what he was currently doing would not get him there. Now he’s attending the same university I am, with a higher GPA, even though I was widely recognized as one of the smartest people back at our school. And then I realized, it’s probably precisely because I was one of the smartest. I was agreeing with everything he was saying and the solutions he told me he had used himself. I knew they were right, not only because they made sense and because it worked for him, but also because it had previously worked for myself. But… I didn’t do it. I was having a talk with him instead.

There was an article on CNN recently, reading “High IQ linked to drug use“. Though it talked about the historical DARE movement and things like that, it was nothing new to me. Pretty much everyone I knew in my honors classes was doing drugs, or started doing them once they started college. The conventional excuse is because more intelligent people want to try more things. Drugs help you see the world in different ways, or helps you study, or whatever. Given that I didn’t know anything else, I ran off of that assumption and didn’t try any. After all, I was able to reconstruct the world at my will without any kind of chemical help. Why go from a more efficient to a less efficient method?

The article ended up saying that intelligent people do drugs for the same reason I had thought adults used alchohol for: to shut off their minds. Again, no surprise since they’re both drugs (“drugs and alcohol” is about as big a misnomer as “apples and fruits”). But that’s what made me think.

“Shut off their minds”. Such a need exists.

“Such a need exists”. Such a thought could not be conceived from a mind where the need does not exist.

“But that’s what made me think”. A mind cannot normally just think again in a completely different way about the same thing with almost no other triggers.

The ability to “create” something out of “nothing” like that is indeed a godly ability. It makes sense in this way why intelligence is respected. Turn it around however, when the creation happens on its own and the creations aren’t particularly useful to anybody, and it’s almost the definition of ADD. Indeed, that’s what ADD people say all the time. They keep getting “distracted”. Same with students and their studying, or people with their work. Same with sports players and practice. Same with… almost anything. People who create – and that is everybody, just at different rates – do not create 100% useful things 100% of the time. We have to deal with this “the rest of the stuff”.

“All Else Is Halation”… this does refer to ignoring distractions. I was simply wrong about where the distractions were coming from, and therefore missing the point. Just as there is no such thing as evidence or way to write a story which “allows” you to think for yourself or  “forces” you to think a certain way, there is similarly no such thing as an item which “allows” you to focus on other things, or “forces” you to focus on it. Distractions do not come from the world.

They come from yourself.

Certainly, it exists at different rates for different people, but that doesn’t fundamentally mean anything. So men are going to be more easily distracted by naked women getting fucked. And women are going to be more easily distracted by shiny objects by peddlers on the street. Children are going to be more easily distracted by a television show with completely ridiculous characters. People who like X are going to be more easily distracted by X. It is simply part of a trait. The trait of “intelligence” means that you are going to be more easily distracted… by anything.

Perhaps this is the difficulty of anything. People with affinity to something have skill but are burdened by their mental mass and inertia. People without can move easily, but then have no clue as to how to do it.

This explains why in any field, perhaps most visibly in the sex market, the winners are usually “dumb jocks”. The burden of intelligence increases at a much faster rate than its skill, so the higher up any social ladder you go you’ll find that the distribution is increasingly different from what it is at the bottom. As with all increasing levels, discipline increases, but the ability of variation goes down as well because intelligent people aren’t able to keep up.

When they are able to keep up, of course, they completely dominate for the same reason they dominate at the bottom.

I said earlier that I would discuss politics as filler material even though I hate it, but probably anything would do. And do better, if I didn’t hate it. It wouldn’t really matter as long as there are things I am doing on this blog to remind me that it’s important. I have little doubt that I can figure out what’s important. I can predict a lot of things and see patterns pretty well. There is also no problem in figuring out how to get there. I know what I need to do to get optimal or near optimal probability of something I want succeeding. Doing it is easy. I just don’t.

The problem is remembering. Remembering what is important, why it’s important, how to do it, and to do it. All the parts are there, scattered in the mind. It just needs to be put together, and pushed forward.

What matters is what they want, and whether or not it can be achieved.

– Meiya Mitsurugi, Muv-Luv Alternative


3 thoughts on “Price

  1. Pingback: Equilibrate « rezzealaux

  2. Pingback: Ghost in the Shell « rezzealaux

  3. Pingback: Relation « rezzealaux

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